A few weeks ago I wrote about how I felt on Fridays and Saturdays and part of that feeling is going away and I'm startin' to feel much better.
But some other feelings are comin' out to light. I'm starting to feel like Blair in GG does: I 'm starting to feel left behind by a Serena. A Serena that has become friends with my mom and that they even go to restaurants and pubs together, while my mom doesn't even take me or my brother to those places. I feel my mom has found a new daughter, a better one, a daughter that works woth er, spends time with her, understands her, etc. And I know my mom only wants to help her, but what about helping me? I need money too. She has found a friend-daughter, and sincereley I'm far away for being like that. I feel left behind for only I have tons of things to study while Serena has few courses this term. I'm afraid my mom likes better her new daughter and forgets about me. I really understand now how does Blair feel about Serena. Serena is a rising star while Blair has to be backstage and watch how the things happen.
I know I have to talk to my mom, but I don't want to make such a fuss about this. My mom will think I'm making a scene, a jealous scene and we'll fight and nver understand each other. That's why I don't think talking to her is such a good idea. We'll never reach a common point. We'll always fight, and this is another one. I feel nothing's gonna change if I tell her how I feel. Besides, we never have the time, I feel she never has the time to listen to me, to SEE me. She only has time for my granpa, her friends, Serena, her work, but not me.
3 comentarios:
Shit, Fran!
I can't believe you're actually saying this. Have you even watched GG last episode? Cuz you definitely should!
Baby, it's a matter of whom is shinier, or funnier, or cooler. It's about been yourself and enjoying the way you're, regardless of the others. When you aren't being sincere with yourself, then you should feel bad. But right now, I think you're a great girl, with wonderful qualities...and really outstanding??
You know what? You should look at yourself in the mirror and play Rakim y Ken-y's "Sexy Movimiento"...I promise you'll have the best time of your life dancing to that song, and your self-esteem will go sky high. At least, that's what really makes me feel better! ;)
And, regarding your mom, please! Be rational! SHE LOVES YOU! I've never seen such a cool relationship between a mother and a daughter. I honestly believe you're being so blind! Your mom really loves you and she would never like anybody else better! (except for your brother, but in that case I think you're at the same level...I mean, mommy's heart is always big enough to love all of her children!).
Fran, a last personal recommendation: start listening to Pascuala Ilabaca, especially "Verso por la niña muerta"...I think she's turning me a "violetaparrista" as well. She rocks, man!
I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU FROM HERE TO INFINITY! CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK AND BE WITH YOU AGAIN, MY DELIGHTFUL FUCKIN' LOVER!!
xoxo,
V.
Fe de erratas:
Second paragraph, line 1.
"Baby, it's NOT a matter of..."
Oops! :P
Fe de erratas n°2 (esto me pasa por andar posteando a las 3am)
Second paragraph, line 6
"and really outstanding!!"
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