Fridays and Saturdays

Right now i don't wanna be where I am. I doesn't make me feel happy or good. I just wanna be at home. I feel trapped. I feel left aside. I'd rather someone to tell me that he doesn't really want to see me, cuz if u wanna see someone, u don't leave her alone or left aside, right? Too bad ur barbecue was today, but kids come first, don't we? It's hard 2 believe u, really hard. It's painful to come here every single weekend, cuz it's always the same old story, and I feel the same way. I wish I had the guts to tell u the truth what I really feel. Wait, I already did and it was fruitless. I wanna get out. When will u listen to me? Huh? When will u see me as a big girl and not as a kid anymore? I'll be 21 in 2 weeks..... I seriously don't want any strings attached. I want my life and my freedom, from now on, but I guess I'll have to have the guts to tell u that, and I don't know when will that happen.